Hop, Skip and a Week

As the title suggests, another week has just flown by, and the season of Lent is over and our Lord has risen and conquered death. During the holy week, we placed our emphasis on Jesus Christ, the son of God who died on the cross for our sins and i hope that it does not just stops there.

John 19: 3
'... Jesus said, "It is finished."'

I certainly hope that we are not finished with Him, like He is done with the Lord's will. I hope that we would continue to place our hopes and our lives in Him and continue to focus on Him and in His words and that its not just because its Good Friday that we focus on Him and after Easter Sunday we forget about everything that He has done for us and go back to our sinning ways. We want to be focused on Him just because of His love, grace and mercy.

Matthew 11:28
'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.'

More often than not, we tend to take our problems and burdens upon ourselves and have we actually forgotten the very words that Jesus spoke of.

Matthew 11: 30
'For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.'

How great is our God that he carries all of our burdens and problems and we carry His. No problem is too big for Him and no problem is too small for Him either. If we do not trust in His words, then what can we trust?

Isaiah 40:31
' but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint.'

We want to stay connected to Him, and draw strength from Him. Let us be able to recognise that it is because of Him that we're able to soar effortlessly like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint because He is the one that in Him we place our hopes and He is the one that we rely upon. Let us all learn to call up to Him not only when we have problems but let us call up to Him all the time.

I hope that our Risen Lord would continue to bless and guide every single one of us and that we might find favour in His eyes.

Amen.

3 out of 34!

As the title suggests,

3 down! 31 more to go!!

Persevere and God will lead the way.

the silence that could never be broken

There are just so many things that i wish to tell someone but somehow, i just feel that i can't. Its such a heavy burden just to bear. Family and friends sees me as some happy-go-lucky dude who can use the sky as a blanket if the sky falls, but just how many people know the real me.

I'm tired. I really am. Its this facade that i put on everyday, this fake smile that could fool every other person but just not myself. I know that deep down inside, there's just this something that's troubling.

Sometimes i wonder to myself, why did i ever have to choose this path.

I'm numb.

Numb - Linkin Park

i'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
i don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you

i've
become so numb
i can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i'm becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought i would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second i waste is more than i can take

but i know
i may end up failing too
but i know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you

Guess this is how i feel right now. Sigh.

Of results and unhappiness.

Today, the results for the GCE 'A' levels examination was released. Of course there were the happy ones, people who scored 3 distinctions or more and nevertheless, there were the sad ones.

Years ago, i happened to be part of the sad bunch. After getting back my results, i was disappointed for i know i reaped what i sowed. I thought with the little intelligence of mine i could leave it and make a mad dash at the eleventh hour but how wrong i was. My results sucked and naturally that couldn't qualify me for the Universities around.

Enough talk about me. Now, someone which i deem close to me got her results back, and it wasn't what she hoped. She's sad, and i am too. That's because i just feel so helpless. I want to help her tide through this tough time but because there are certain complicated issues which might arise, i wasn't really able to. I really want to be there for her, to be her pillar of strength for her to lean on for i know that's what she needs the most right now for i have walked through the path with no one to turn to.

Sigh. I wish i could be there. :/

Its been so long

Just took a look at the date at the last posted entry.

Its been just so long since i last posted here on my blog.

Used to think that it could have been an avenue for me to vent my frustrations and an avenue for me just to voice out my inner most thoughts but now i realised that its pretty impossible to be hush hush about anything anymore.

Much has happened through this 1 yr and some of which is good and some of which is bad.

Right now, it just feels that evertyhing is in a mess.

I need a new direction.

Random Thoughts

Some blogs are philosophical, while some just bitch about their daily happenings. What do i want to achieve with mine? I've actually posed this question to myself a number of times actually before starting my blog and the final answer was that i wanted it to somewhat be a reflection of my feelings and my thoughts. Unexpectedly, i couldn't make it to become one because when i have that sudden surge of feelings, i just do not know how to put it into words. Let me just quote one of this blogger that i've been reading on and off.

The perfection of imperfections

I've always compare myself to perfect people, always seeking perfection.
But then i slow down my pace and take a look around.
I realised there's no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect world.

Imperfection can be a form of beauty.
The beauty is that you know it does exist.

Isn't it just so magnificent? The way the person pictures life and then describing it the way the he/she views it? Sometimes, in fact, all the time, i admire people with such writing skills and such out of the box kind of thinking. Its great, i simply love it.

Ok, enough of such thoughts already that's making me jealous. Here's one song that i've been repeating over and over again on my winamp.

Its HOME by Michael Buble (ok, how do u make that stupid letter e with something on top?)

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

Courageous or Stupidity?

Okie, its finally time for the town council to put up a fresh coat of paint for my block. I guessed they were suppose to start a week ago or so because all the necessary gadgets were all placed nicely at the void deck but nothing was done to it only until this Monday.

Before they even started, they prayed and offered offerings. This is the first time that i'm seeing this though and i was pretty surprised. Do indians pray to the same gods as the chinese do? That got a grin on my face though as i was very much tickled by that stupid thought of mine.

So they started washing the walls with the same machine used during the washing of the floors of the block. You know, that machine that churns out huge and strong jets of water... Yeah, that's the one i'm talking about. So, once they're done, i realised its time for me to do some cleaning on my part. My window panes were damn freaking dirty from the washing on the outside. Darn! More work for me.

I then stood on my table to clean the exterior of the window. Normally, i wouldn't winch at doing such a task ( i stay on the 15th storey by the way), but for some unknown reason, i started to get goosebumps every time i looked down to the plundering heights. I felt fear for the first time while cleaning windows. It was a kind of a weird feeling; a sudden burst of butterflies in your stomach and it led me thinking, those people who commit suicide by hurling themselves of great heights...

COURAGE or STUPIDITY???

If with the support of window grilles and i'm already getting all jittery, i can't imagine what is going through their minds at that point of time. Perhaps they are too bogged up with other matters that they do not realise what exactly they are doing. So this leads me to yet another point.

Suicidal people, are they courageous or stupid?

My stand? They are stupid. I mean, yeah, it sure take you lots of guts to commit suicide, be it hurling yourself over the building, slashing your wrist, popping yourself with medication, hanging yourself or the thousand and one ways of dying. However, facing up to your own problems shows more courage and guts rather than taking the easy way out of dying.

God gave us all a life for a purpose. If even an ant struggles to run after being trampled on, a cockroach scampering for dear life after being targetted as a pest. Needless to say, i feel that human beings should have more fighting spirit than other low beings. After all, we're God's prized possesion after His Son.

We should cherish life even more because He died so that we could live.